Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Forgiveness

I have had some pretty nasty stuff done to me over the years by people. I won't go into detail, but some of the things have shocked people when I have told them.

People have told me over and over that I need to forgive these people and move on. And I have always had trouble with it as I didn't feel those people deserved my forgiveness and that I felt that it made what they did to me ok.

Man was I wrong.

I had an amazing, life changing epiphany last night while watching Dexter of all things.

Dexter had made friends with an ex-con turned priest, Brother Sam. When Brother Sam is shot by someone he trusted Dexter wanted revenge. But Brother Sam tells Dexter that he forgives the man who shot him, but Dexter cannot. What Brother Sam says to him in that moment gave me chills and brought me to tears.

Forgiveness isn't about the other person. It's about yourself. It's about letting go of the darkness of what they have done to you. It doesn't mean you have to accept what they did or accept them back with open arms. It means healing yourself.

I don't have to be friends with these people. I don't have to ever trust them again. I don't even have to speak to them ever again.

But I can forgive them.

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